Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Weekly Blog -- Refelction on Analyzing the Message

PAGE 89

1) Strengths and weaknesses of each sentence:
The first sentence is very strong. It clearly states what the goal of the company is an addressing all interested audiences.

The second sentence is too long and has too much repetition of the word "enough". Instead, the sentence should say, "We constantly scour the world looking for products that are good, well-built, and classy enough to fit the high standards of our established website, www.bestbabygear.com". One strong point of this sentence though is that it states their website which is good information for the reader and potential client to have.

The third sentence is also too long and contains too much slang. It's attempt to emphasis that this company guarantees only the best for their customers is important, however. It is important for the potential supplier to know their standards.

Finally, the last line brings the message to a close. The line is clear with its final statement which is a plus, however, it could be less wordy to make it more concise.

2) Our e-tailing company, Best Baby Gear, specializes in the best products for parents of newborns, infants, and toddlers. We constantly search all over the world for products that fit the high standards for our website, www.bestbabygear.com. Every product is carefully selected to ensure that they will all be top-sellers and optimize our profits. After much consideration, we feel that your Inglesina lines would further advance our company.

Reflection:

After reading the written version of the message in the book, I felt like it was so wordy and complicated that no business with communication like that should be taken seriously. The purpose of the message was apparent: to sell the concept of the e-company to a manufacturer. Although it did so, I was able to decipher the main points in much fewer words and feel like it would be more acceptable to present to a potential client. My reflection of this activity is that in the business world, it is not fancy, complicated wording that impresses people. Simplicity and clarity are the ways to effectively communicate.

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